The Hotel Pick Up

I first joined Interline as a minicab driver, unbelievably, back in 1999. I was a day driver but would come out to earn extra money on the busy Friday and Saturday night shifts. Our office is very near Harrow Town centre and people walk up at the end of their evening to get a taxi home.
We also take care of the local hotels and my story today relates to a late night pick up from one of the hotels. At about 3 in the morning I went in to the reception of a hotel. I knew the night porter and he pointed me in the direction of my fare. In truth he was not hard to find, he was the only person left and he was curled up on a sofa fast asleep. When I tried to wake him he was clearly drunk as a skunk. "I can't take this guy" I said to the porter, "He is legless" "Oh do me a favour Chris, he is the last person here, when you take him I can lock up and take my break. His wallet was on the floor so I know his address" pleaded the porter.
Between us we stood the guy up but as soon as we let go of him he fell to the floor. We dragged him to the car and lent him on the bonnet but again he just slid to the ground. He could not stand straight or lever himself in to the car but I managed to launch him on to the back seat mainly by using his trouser belt and then tucked his legs in so I could shut the door.

He lived in Pinner which was about a ten minute drive and after about two minutes he was snoring contendedly curled up on the back seat. When we got to his house I dragged him out, again lent him against the car and again he fell to the floor. I propped him against the garden gate as I tried to open it but he slumped over the gate and it swung forward with him flopped over it like a rag doll. Eventually we reached his front door where, if I am honest, I thought about leaving him, but it was a cold night and after all that hard work I wanted paying !! I could not go through his pockets looking for money but we did need to get in the house and when once again I tried to stand him up to try to find his keys he dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap.

Right I thought this is someones husband and she can come and deal with him, so I rang the door bell and waited. Eventually a bleary eyed lady opened the door "Can I help you" she said. "I have brought your husband home, he is a little the worse for wear" I said as I bent down to try to pick him up once again. When I looked up, rather than helping me as I expected, the lady was walking up the garden path. "Is everything alright" I asked. "Well it is very kind of you to bring him home" said the lady, " but where is his wheelchair"